The Peters Way

So it's been about two weeks since I've written a blog post. I've spent the past two weeks getting to know Big D better and checking in on Mr. R to make sure he's coping with the new adddition. I would be lying if I said it hasn't been a long two weeks. Both love their X-box's, and playing board games, as well as watching youtube. Both are growing boys who always seem to eat food. (NOT exaggerating, they always seem to have food in their hands). That being said, I LOVE both of those boys to death.  Part of having them here, is that Big D, goes to school about 45min awsay from where I live which means twice a day I get to drive and pick him up. Thank God for friends who are willing to help out ocassionally. But driving with Big D is great, because it gives us time to talk and get to know each other better. In doing so, he asked last week, "Can I Stay?"  Can I Stay??? there is no right answer to that. I want him safe, I want him to know he is loved, and ...

Late last night, I picked up a new foster son. Big D is 15 and I am his fifth placement since he was put into foster care in August 2020. That is 3 foster homes and 1 group home in 6 months, and now me. My heart breaks that he has been moved around so much and now he is separated from his siblings. The upside to it all is he and Mr. R, see to get along really well. Both have enjoyed the X-box and music and other things.  I realized early this morning that because of where Big D's school is that if I transport it is a 4 hour commute each day, something that I cannot afford to do. It breaks my heart to know that Big D may not be able to stay, despite him telling me that this is the nicest place he lived and that this is already the best placement he's had and he hasn't even been here 24hrs yet. However, when I asked him if he would be willing to switch schools, his first response was no not yet, he really wants to finish the school year out at his current school and then tran...

Dear Everyone in My World, PSA* this is a slightly more vulnerable post*  I'm exhausted. I don't just mean physically, but mentally, emotionally, spiritually; no matter how you spin it I'm exhausted. Maybe that's why I finally gave in and agreed to see a counselor/therapist next week for the first time ever. And before you throw me being a foster parent under the bus for the reason why, I was exhausted long before that.  Mr. R, has officially been with me three weeks, and things are just slowly starting to get going in his case. Without going into to much detail, he spoke with his appointed lawyer for the first time today, had a dentist appt (NO CAVITIES, YAY!), and has begun supervised (By me) phone calls with several bio-family members. All great things. He's also slowly coming out of the honeymoon phase and beginning to push the boundaries. Before you say anything negative, (not in all cases) but in this case this is good, it means he feels safe. We often have di...

 Hey All,  My FS12, MR. R, has been here 2.5 weeks now, and my mind is just blown away not only by the support of my friends and family, but by how much my life has changed.  I knew starting this journey that things would not always be easy, but the amount I've learned about being an "adult" and "parent" in the last three weeks has just blown my mind.  Things I never understood until now... 1) How parents mix up their kids names...FS9, Mr. T, has been gone a week and yet I still manage to call Mr. R by his name. Heck, I was talking to a co-worker earlier this week and called Mr. R, by his caseworkers name. Jessica, my co-worker was so confused.  2) I never understood how frustrating it is for parents that boys leave pee on the toilet until now. If you follow this and you have any suggestions, send HELP!  3) Having to figure out consequences for actions. Don't ask me why, but somewhere along the way I think my brain just assumed when you became a parent you ...

      Today, my FS9 that I've had for since 1/12/21 (so 13days) left to go back home for what we will hope will be permanently. I've known from the get go, that Mr. T would be a short term placement, and yet it feels like he's here and gone so quickly. His mom did what she needed to do; his first court hearing was two days after he was taken, his mom did exactly what she needed to within the first five days after that, then he had two extended overnight stays (one for three days, one for two), and this morning I got an e-mail asking my opinion on it. I told his caseworker based off of what I knew, I didn't even fully understand why he was in foster care, and his CW agreed, and we decided as a team that he didn't have to wait until next weekend to go home and instead that he could go tonight. So at 8:25pm, I dropped him off at Del Taco to his mom, 20 minutes later I got a phone call saying he left his phone charger, so tomorrow I'll take it to his mom at work. An...

 I never set out to be a "Boy Mom;" but if I'm being honest deep down, I think I always kind of knew that I would end up boys along the way. That being said when I got the call for a 9y/o boy last Tuesday (1/12/21) I didn't hesitate, and then when less then 24hrs later I got the call for a 12y/o boy I again didn't hesitate.  Though from the beginning I've known that foster care is "temporary" some are more temporary then others. FS*9, Mr. T**, is honestly starting to feel more like a long term baby sitting gig before he goes home at the end of the month. Last weekend he spent with his family, I picked him up on Tuesday after school, and tomorrow (1/21) he is headed home for the weekend before I pick up on Monday after school. And hopefully if all goes well he will go home before the end of the month. FS12, Mr. R,  is not so temporary. Though I can't talk about his case, it is known at this time that he will be with me a while. Attached below is h...